Sex in the Dark

My first reaction to Jan Hoffman’s New York Times article, “When the Cellphone Teaches Sex Education” was how odd, then I remembered my sex education, mother said, beware when a boy gets that look in his eyes. I was nine or ten with no clue of what that “look,” looked like. The nuns (blushing) had told my fourth grade class French kissing could get a girl pregnant, technically wrong but indirectly correct since one thing can lead to another (I guess). As I read on (near tears) when one young girl asks if raped as a young child was her first time. Another girl isolated, in her shame and fear was unable to figure out if she is pregnant had to turn to texting for answers and support.

Then why are women still burdened with responsibility for sexuality? What does Hoffman’s article say about our culture? Explicit sex is everywhere—billboards, magazines, TV, music lyrics and video, movies. Fashion is all about revealing sexuality even in clothing for children and preteens that mimics starlet wear. Mother’s seem incapable of discerning what is suggestive. This is probably the most ridiculous thing I (me with my credentials) to ask, but is it old fashioned—prudish—not cool, to be shocked when a young woman visiting the city, accompanied by her mother, thong underwear show through her skirt.

The problem is not the girl’s visible thong;it is our sexually dysfunctional culture (ads for erectile dysfunction medication) men leer at women as if it is their birthright—judge a woman’s character by her “look.” The double standard is not only still alive pop culture has reinforced the sexual objectification of women. Cosmetic surgery, breast implants, push up bras, control undergarments, weight lost solutions and eating disorders—signify the contemporary binary child/slut, vulnerable/independent, fertility figure. Women MUST have the freedom to do and be whatever she chooses free of shame and harassment. However, the United States dysfunctional culture sends confusing signals about sexuality. Abstinence is the most failed policy, as the Catholic Church fails to accept. It is incompetent negligence to throw hormonal teenage boys and girls out into the world guided by ignorance, shame and abstinence. Underlying our sexual cultural dysfunction is the control of power—a sexually repressive culture is all about power. In the 21st century—in the digital age—still preoccupied with sexuality—labeling desirable/undesirable is political exploitation that leads to suffering and death.