As mentioned before, I have a dualistic personality. On one hand I am very extroverted and on the other I have seriously given thought to designing a Tshirt that says "Doh Bodda Me!" -Don't Bother Me-...except I don't wear tshirts except to sleep in ever so often. But still this rather polarised way of operating has had significant impact on my relationships with people. From boyfriends to friends to family to acquaintances, they all grow terribly confused to find me availing and open, the life of the party and inviting one day to haughty, introspective, uncommunicative and impatient on the day following. Facebook has gone a long way to solving this dilemma for me.
Forgive the informercial tone, for I'm not plugging Facbook which isn't paying me for this feature, though it could well afford to...*insert the familiar why-am-I-not-business-minded-in-addition-to-being-a-storyteller regret that rears its head every now and again that wonders why on earth did I not think of this concept enabling me to return home and retire RICH here*
But back to Facebook. Seriously, this site allows me to keep in touch with a host of people: friends from kindergarten, Primary School, High School, undergrad, both my graduate school programmes, and my certificate course at Columbia University, with my Trini party crew, my fellow political protesters, and cool professors etc etc etc. But, and this is the fabulous element, Facebook enables me to do so without feeling imposed upon, overly accessed and available, drained of my energy etc.
With FB, I do not always have to be on the phone in order to keep in touch with this myriad bunch. The phone is no longer the only or primary means by which we keep in touch, thus my time is my own. I retain my space and energy and I still check in -- but on my time -- thus never appearing rude or dismissive. And actually I find that this site is an even better way to know the people in one's lives...which enables better relationships between us all.
People use FB as their diaries, as their place of venting, as their social planner, as their transcript etc. Just by checking someone's page I get to know how their day is going, what they've been up to, what new programme they're entering, which job they're leaving, who they're now dating, whose marriage is failing...yes it satisfies the voyeuristic in us all as well :-) But honestly, it makes communication when we do meet up to lime/hang out, party, for dinner and drinks, for meetings, in class etc that much quicker...we've already covered the bases and are up to speed.
Plus, as I've gotten older I've learnt how to stratify "friends"...in my teens and early twenties I'd grieve that this person wasn't that or the other. Now I've grown very comfortable with having the very few in a strong intimate circle and then the party group, the academic group etc. Fb allows me to manage these groups without being too estranged or too inauthentically communicative with others relegated to lower rungs in the friendship realm. Basically I get to have my cake and eat it too. I like knowing lots of people but I am very reserved as well.
Plus, FB allows me to take advantage of my favourite form of communication: writing. As a child (I sometimes still do...I was so tempted to buy a quill etc at Barnes and Noble just last week) I used to wish I was born in the letter-writing age -- being a huge Jane Austen and Frances Burney reader only exacerbates such-- but I've come to realise that society has come full circle...we're back to writing again...which is just as I'd have it...though I wish guys would pen some Captain Frederick of Persuasion sort of notes as opposed to pm's on Facebook wondering if you'd like to "hook up"...but hey you take the good with the bad :-)
Last paragraph on Facebook, because seriously I'm writing this at the job that does pay me while Fb doesn't: Fb covers a good many of my web needs. It's the reason I don't have a blog to some extent. I already discuss my moods and state of mind and happenings in my life via notes and status updates etc. Moreover, I get the news on FB. -- I very hardly watch the news per se (don't have that kind of time to discuss why not) and with FB there is little need to. My friends and I share similar interests and they post stories (as do I) about the news in which we are interested...it's like an RSS feed; everything's on the homepage...and thus we all stay informed.
And lastly, in the interest of space and time, I get my reviews on FB....let a new movie, gadget, law come out and my friends not comment on it: never happen. It's an honest way to get feedback on a great many items and ideas in this age in which we live.
Of course, though, I do laugh at myself and my fellow FB junkies when truth-hitting clips such as these come out...but the fact remains, despite such, I haven't disabled my account yet, and as I continue to regulate my privacy and my usage to fit my needs, I have no intention of doing so anytime soon.
Now returning to something I mentioned earlier: reviews.
I am a real researcher at heart. This predisposition, predilection and skill has served me well during my non-creative writing literature courses and those others that required academic papers etc. And while I am quite grateful that those days are over, I still conduct necessary research for my creative writing as well and for my own interests. Please know that before I purchase an ipod, a camera, a trip, a new cosmetic product, a new anything I am on the web for weeks reading reviews. This is one of the best things about the web, fuh real!!! From Amazon to C-net to consumerreports.com to citysearch to blogs and many many others, I check out the data on everything. I get feedback on clubs, restaurants, movies, professors (ratemyprofessors.com) etc. I don't like wasting time --I'm impatient--, I don't like making mistakes, I don't like spending money on nonsense and I like things to cater to me. As such I seek out that which works for me. I go to Amazon and Shelfari and find other readers of Caribbean novels to get recommendations and reviews and then to join in after I've read a book myself. I go to Rottentomatoes and others for current movies and Netflix for my Bollywood films, though I'd pretty much rent anything with Sharukh Khan in it, and I go toIslandmix.com to find out which are the best Trini fetes going on, cuz God forbid I get stuck in a lame or undesirable party. Thus the ability to basically preview everything beforehand makes me a very happy little shopper :-)
Now, the last of my digital age loves (because if I must be really honest with myself, which this class had forced and facilitated, as regards computer technology I have no complaints, I truly love it...yeah children watching porn and all that, but didn't they used to sneak Playboys anyway...as in that time, the same applies now: it's up to parents etc to enforce restrictions...I say that as a non-parent, but still...) I am going to cite my ability to better handle my money online.
I bank online. I mean I really do. I have a penchant for being able to justify any purchase...not really big on deferring gratification...and if I have the money I will spend it. In order to prevent such, I go to my Chase account online and move my money to INGDirect online where it is inaccessible (I don't even know where it goes...where are their offices anyway? hmmmm). If and when I need it again, I have to transfer it and wait two days for it to get to my checking account, with the exception of holidays etc which takes longer. This lack of immediacy works wonders for my ability to budget, save and account for funds for various needs. I also pay my bills online at once, and shop for bigger items online as well. Hereby, I see my money. I can use it, manipulate it etc, without touching it. It never goes through my hand and thus it is free to work independent of my "but, I must have this..." impulses. I get to sit on my MAC, use the claculator widget, make my budget, move the money accordingly and give myself a happy shopping allowance. This banking feature allows me to realistically account for my tendencies and to behave responsibly yet. I love it.
Aside from my PS. that -- though many people cast derision upon such behaviour without realising that that times it serves a greater good -- the internet facilitates email break ups, here ends my tribute to living in the digital age. I remember the day (the memoirist in me) my mother took me to an Expo in The National Stadium when I was about six years old and I first saw a computer. I didn't strayed from that tent for the whole day despite every desperate attempt to lure me from it. I fell in love with the computer then... and I am still in love with its functions now. It's not my profession, but it greatly serves my passions...(do I even need to make mention of the fact that all of my writing pieces are stored on my MAC and can hereby be easily accessed and revised etc? Nah, didn't think so).
:-) Camille
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